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It is the greatest desire of my heart to reveal the heart of the Father, through His Son, in every piece that I do. I pray that through my artwork, you are drawn closer to Him and that you can rest in the wonder of His love.
When I was drawing "Kiddushin", I worried about capturing the essence of the nature or Jesus on paper. How does one capture "The King of Kings"? How does one do justice to His Glory on paper? I went "into my head" to figure it out, rather than to my heart. I looked at people. I looked at noses and eyes. Online, in the malls, on TV- but I couldn't find my Jesus. I collected a collage of features, that I thought I would meld into one face. We are all parts of the body, right? My head said, "Yes, this is the way to do it!"
I drew for over two hours one morning, with no tangible results. I could not make it work. In sheer frustration, I turned to the still, gentle voice inside.
He said, "You know ME, put the pictures away."
"How, will I ...."
"YOU KNOW ME, you don't need those pictures. Draw ME".
I listened and I tuned into my "Jesus frequency" and I drew with my heart. I didn't think or ponder, analyze or hold back. I drew through my tears and I simply watched as His image took form. I drew my Jesus. I drew the face of God and I wept.
In my original sketches, I did not have a dove in the picture. While I was drawing one morning, a bird appeared over my art table. It flew around the room. 3 times. I tend to get "lost" in my drawings and didn't pay attention. I simply got up and opened the back door to let it out. I threw the door wide open and waited to spot the bird again. I kept waiting. As surely as the bird had appeared, it was gone. Revelation sometimes has to hit me over the head. All of the doors, and windows, were closed in the house. Where did the bird fly in from? Where did it go? Sometimes heaven invades Earth. Sometimes things of the Spirit manifest to bring us revelation.
I had been struggling with self doubt. Was I good enough? Could I draw well enough? I went to art school, majored in art and walked away from it all because I was sure I wasn't good enough. I could never make a career out of art, so I switched gears and graduated with a degree in Psychology.
It has been 20 years since I picked up any art medium. 20 years of drought. 20 years of searching for my purpose. Sure, there have been milestones and great joys in my life. But, I searched for my passion. I searched for the thing that made my heart and soul soar with deep satisfaction and purpose.
That little bird, on that morning reminded me of Jesus' promise to us. He sent us His Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us. The Holy Spirit goes before us,. The Holy Spirit went before me in my drawings. Through Him, I can do anything. So, I draw. Every morning I get up at 4, before the busyness of a wife and family; and I meet Him. I anticipate my time with Him.
Our God loves us this much. He meets us in the wee hours of the morning and he says, "You KNOW me", put it all away and draw into me. You don't need these pictures, He wants to sit with you over a cup of coffee and delight in your time together.
My prayer is that my artwork brings you to the threshold of heaven where you can enter into your own dance with our Lord. Where He can whisper to YOUR heart, "You know me, let me overwhelm you with my love".
Getting to Know Me!
"I drew the face of God and I wept"
"I Will Not Be Silenced" by, Jonathan David Helser on the "Walk Through The Walls Album".
